Praise You

Can't be busier lately. This lifestyle reminds me of my uni days, when I worked on my assignments at the last minute and challenged myself under great stress. The only difference is that I have "assignments" due everyday now, and I'm really stretched to meet those deadlines. Even I'm well trained to cope with stress, I feel breathless from time to time.

Praise God that whenever I feel exhausted, He fills me with His strength, so that I can carry on. Everything that I'm devoting myself to is not for any monetary reward (simply because I'm not getting paid in anything I do & I'm quite happy doing it without being paid), but a dedication and a commitment to Him. He did hear my prayer, and now the doors are opened for me.

If there's one thing that I wanna break through this year, it will be to exercise my talents and gifts in event management for His sake. As I look back, I can clearly see His hand move in my life and ordain me in this field.

He opened the way for me to come and study in Australia by blocking my plan to study in the UK and softening my dad's heart;
He changed my major miraculously from Hospitality Management into Event Management;
He sowed the seed of passion into my heart in the field of events;
He gifted me with the creativity and the organizational skills needed...

I failed to see all these, saying nothing of asking why they happened and searching for an answer. I was blinded by my pride, and felt very reluctant to exercise my gifts for His kingdom. I was too occupied by my own plan for my life, and failed to ask what His plan for me is.

However, when He wants to teach, no one can say no to Him. And His teaching began... It was not by my choice, but His, that I was placed in the total darkness to look for a direction for my future. Firstly, He laid a question in my heart, and I started to look back and see how I am who I am. I love to ask questions, especially WHY, and I was surprised to find that I never asked myself WHY I am who I am. My shepherds always tell me to ask His will and plan for my future, instead of deciding it myself. I did ask, but did not hear anything from Him, or rather I was too impatient and proud to wait for His answer.

It was when I was placed in the total darkness that I began to pay more and more attention to His voice and guidance. It was in the total darkness that I learned what “walk by faith” really meant to me. What can I say? Hmm, that was tough, but I praise God for it.

It was in one desperate cry out to Him that He finally allowed me to have a glimpse of my future. Wow, I could hardly describe how I felt at that moment: I was extremely peaceful, for I know that my future is so secure in His hand (I knew that He has good plans for each and every one of His children, but when He actually shows you His plan, the sense of security will be so strong!); I was very thankful and excited, for I love to do what I’m to do and He knows what my passion is; I was stressed as well, because I could feel the expectations, and I knew the road ahead was not rosy, but a tough one.

I guess what impressed and moved me the most was the vision I saw after I had a glimpse into my future. When I was in the total darkness, I always asked for a light, so that I would see where I was and know where I would be heading to. In the vision, I saw the light and it was from within my body! I became semi-transparent and the light was shining within my body! I asked God what it meant, and here comes the answer: You were given the Holy Spirit, but you never take enough heed to it. Don’t search for the light from outside. I’m a God who loves to give surprises, and this time, your light will come from within. Listen to the Holy Spirit, and you’ll find the way out… “Awesome” is the only word I could utter…

I would say that I am still striving to walk out of the darkness, and I acknowledge that the road ahead is really tough and I will be challenged to the limit. I’m gonna take my first step according to what I was told, to be honest, with great fear and trembling in my heart. Please forgive me that I don’t wanna share the details here right now, but I will definitely do it in a due time. Truly hope and pray this would be part of an awesome testimony by the end of this year!